Iran Rejects Ceasefire as Trump Threatens Hell, US/Israel Strike 30 Universities, Ukraine Hits Russian Refineries

I’m hoping this is what’s in the Nuclear Football case:

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Soothing my nerves by imagining the dead silence as everyone waits to see the inside of the suitcase…
DJT picks it up for all to see and, just like the inset photo, gives it a squeeze. From the somber atmosphere of a wartime oval office arises a resounding
“SQUEAK-urrrrrrrrrrrrr”

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Or maybe Clippy and Windows 98 come to the rescue…

'It looks like you’re attempting to launch a nuclear warhead! Would you like help with th-

This Program has performed an illegal action and will be shutdown

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