Me and mine at the expense of you and yours.We could be speaking different languages but my point is, not everyone who wants to make sure their situation is secured first is one of the "me and mine". You seem to be ready to lump anyone who doesn't think of others first as part of the problem. I disagree. Since I'm not inclined to get into a protracted argument over this, I will leave it at that.
You seem to be ready to lump anyone who doesn’t think of others first as part of the problem. I disagree.I never said we should think of others first! But I see little of thinking of the negatively impacted by this situation at all. Where are the discussions like those in the video. Continuing to ignore gross inequality will collapse our society. Very few want to look at that.
I won’t bother returning to that subject. There’s no point. You state it’s perfectly sufficient. But in earlier declarations, you implied the opposite. And it apparently is the opposite. Otherwise, why would you be so vocal about your dissatisfaction and angry with your and your children’s personal state of affairs?
But I will relate something about life in general. Spending time and effort on critical self-analysis, self-development, self-improvement, self awareness, and life long learning (and application of that learning) yields tremendous benefits including improving one’s resilience, satisfaction in life, joy in life, etc. One can encounter adverse context and bias and by these means still overcome and not only survive but thrive. But if one stubbornly clings to what they are (when it’s not working) and what is (when it’s not working) rather than striving to be the very best they can be and working towards what can be, they will be stuck. It doesn’t matter what aspect of life. Physical development, mental development, relationships, finances, what have you. They will be stuck and remain so until their attitude and orientation changes.
The answers are all out there and readily accessible to almost everyone. But when ego protection and stubbornness takes precedence over self improvement and flexibility, one blocks learning and blocks change and stays the same. And staying the same isn’t growth, it’s a living death. Doesn’t matter whether we’re talking about an individual here, a small business, or on up the scale to a nation. Ego protection and pride isn’t grit. It’s self delusion and, quite frankly, foolishness. The sad thing is, the majority of our population falls into this category and they pass it on to their offspring as well and both endure a lot of needless suffering as a consequence. We’re seeing the results of that mindset now. And so much of it is avoidable. What a shame! But it is certainly understandable. We have a population that has been programmed to think and act as victims and the programming is very strong and difficult to break. When you have victims rather than independent, self reliant, sovereign citizens, you have a population which is much easier to control and subjugate.
There’s a book written by Richard Bach, the author of “Jonathan Livingston Seagull” (a wonderful book as well), called “Illusions”. I’d recommend reading it if for nothing more than understanding the verse that states: “Argue for your limitations and sure enough, they’re yours.” We can embrace our limitations or we can work to free ourselves from them. The choice is always ours. We each design our own lives. When we look at the scope of our lives, from start to now, realize that most of it has come about from our decisions. For many, they seem to derive a certain twisted satisfaction from grumbling and griping about it rather than humbling themselves, recognizing their errors and not repeating those errors, and rising above their past. And they usually want the world to change but don’t want to change themselves. We can’t control the world but we do have some level of control over our own thoughts and actions and that can be our salvation … or not.
Thank you that was well thought and relevant.
And in this time of economic collapse, when we tend to judge ourselves and each other by a particular measuring stick, it seems like a good time to be asking if that’s the same measuring stick we want to keep using going forward.The video pointed out renters got nothing in the mega bail-out. This is an example of gross inequality. There is little discussion about this kind of subject but much discussion on growing ones wealth. I often feel like the lone wolf he that says that focus will be our undoing. So very glad to have another voice that understands. AKGrannyWGrit
Otherwise, why would you be so vocal about your dissatisfaction and angry with your and your children’s personal state of affairs?What? You assume to much. I am not angry, I might use the fact that my children own their own businesses as an example but unhappy, or angry thats your assumption. And I am happy with my state of affairs perhaps its you who is unhappy. You seemed to want to ask a question so you could produce a lecture. Not interested.
Being measured by one’s grades alone is a pretty sad measure. Forgive me but I’m reminded of Robert Kyosaki’s (not always true) statement that ‘A’ students work for ‘C’ students and ‘B’ students work for the government, a statement that, true or not, is sure to alienate all but the ‘C’ students, lol. But what’s wrong with emphasizing grades and a work ethic and the importance of family and the importance of friendships and the importance of being self responsible and the importance of serving others and the importance of faith and so on. Why not aspire to the best in all areas? I was blessed to have wonderful parents. They certainly wanted me to get good grades but it was more important that I did my best, no matter what it was about and that I have a balanced and physically, mentally, and spiritually healthy and happy life. And we passed those values on to our children. They excelled in school but they were also kind and thoughtful, helped others, and gave back in service to those less fortunate than themselves. They worked hard but they also took time to play. They learned to tithe and would give also money and time to various charitable projects. One of the memories they’ve talked about was serving Thanksgiving dinners as a family to the homeless. My son did volunteer work in college in poverty stricken areas including Detroit, Atlanta, and New Orleans. He did 27 months in the Peace Corps in Nepal after college. And he presently coaches underprivileged Somali youth in soccer in Denver. My daughter did missionary work in France and Central America including going into dangerous gang run areas in El Salvador and she continues to be active in charitable activities through her church to this day. I’m not rich but I’m also not poor. I worked 60 to 70 hours per week for what I have and have donated generously to both church and charities throughout my working career and done pro bono work as well, giving back some of the blessings I received. So financial success and social responsibility are not mutually exclusive as often seems to be implied by those who resent financial success because perhaps they haven’t experienced it themselves and are vocal about social responsibility without demonstrating a whole lot of it themselves (although they are more than willing to encourage their government to demonstrate it using other people’s money).
With regards to blame, if you have two parties with virtually identical life situations and one has life success but one doesn’t, whose fault is that? Anyone but the party responsible? That doesn’t work for me. If something goes awry in my life, do you know who I blame? I usually blame myself because that’s usually where blame lies. But if I don’t recognize that and try to put the blame elsewhere, I’d wind up stuck in the same situation or similar one. Only by taking personal responsibility can I rectify the situation and avoid making the same mistake in the future and being stuck in the same situation.
There’s a word that rhymes with blame. It’s called shame. Both blame and shame have become very unpopular which is entirely understandable. Who wants to experience them? But if I do something that is indeed shameful, should I not experience shame? Isn’t shame an unpleasant emotion which is designed to change my behavior so I don’t repeat that behavior again and bring on that feeling again? That brings to mind another unpopular word, judgement. Ever notice that the people who say, “Don’t judge me” usually have done something that they themselves at least subconsciously feel they should be judged for. Otherwise, why would they even say that? One can wallow in marxist political correctness and continue to repeat faulty behaviors or one can take personal responsibility and change behaviors. It’s a choice.
This is not to take away the responsibility of TPTB that have inflicted pain and suffering on others but if one gives way to a victimhood mentality, one gives them even more control over us. Whether it’s big government or big corporations or the entities that oversee both, they can’t do anything to us without us giving them at least partial permission. And until we take full responsibility for that, the affronts will continue and, in fact, will grow in magnitude. We ultimately have the power. The question is what are we, both individually and collectively, going to do about it.
You have a strange way of expressing your happiness. Heck, you called yourself “Cranky Granny”. Does cranky=happy in your universe?
There’s an old hapkido story. The master draws a line in the dirt and asks the student how to make that line shorter. The student suggests cutting the line in half. The master then draws a longer line next to the first line. You get the point I hope.
You talk about income inequality. Yes, it exists. Yes, it is not good. In fact, it’s a highly destabilizing situation. So is educational inequality which is one of the root causes of income equality. But you seem a bit resistant to education, including financial education. And it’s a bit arrogant to claim you’re the only one talking about it. Go back in the archives and you can find it was beaten to death in the two years before you ever showed up. So where’s your solution? I’m all ears. I’m open to learning. Are you?
You condemn Adam for writing an article about growing your wealth and others for discussing growing their wealth. You’re cutting the line in half. He and others (myself included if you were willing) are trying to show you and others (and we’re all learning from one another) how to make your line longer. But strangely, you resist. Have you ever considered making your line longer?
Do you know the final step in Dave Ramsey’s program? It’s getting yourself to the point of financial independence where you can give even more than your tithe. If you’re not financially secure yourself, then it’s very difficult for you to help others be secure.
So I posed this question in the past, and you dodged it, as you often do the hard questions. How are you, you personally, helping others now? I’d really like to hear. Maybe we can all learn something. And bleeding from your heart doesn’t count.
AO, I agree with you that a victim mindset is not helpful, but “blame the victim” is worse.
Sometimes life is genuinely unfair. Many of us think we succeeded because we were smart but the truth is we were also very lucky. It behooves us to stay humble and not be too quick to assume that someone else’s difficult situation is entirely their own fault.
Granny’s example of how symphony auditions turn out differently when the players are heard but not seen is a cogent illustration of how bias can lead to both injustices and suboptimal results. If biases in judging mean that the symphony doesn’t hire the best musicians, everyone loses.
The question is what are we, both individually and collectively, going to do about it.Glad you asked! https://peakprosperity.com/forum-topic/when-the-people-lead-2/ Sorry man, I just can't seem to drop this....but awaiting suggestions for more effective actions! Aloha, be well. Steve
“With regards to blame, if you have two parties with virtually identical life situations and one has life success but one doesn’t, whose fault is that? Anyone but the party responsible? That doesn’t work for me. If something goes awry in my life, do you know who I blame? I usually blame myself because that’s usually where blame lies. But if I don’t recognize that and try to put the blame elsewhere, I’d wind up stuck in the same situation or similar one. Only by taking personal responsibility can I rectify the situation and avoid making the same mistake in the future and being stuck in the same situation.”
This is exactly the crux of the matter! Blame is not the same thing as responsibility. It has been my personal experience that self-blame will not be as likely to be a liberating force in ones life if you also happen to experience mistreatment in our society for a condition which you had no part in creating (skin color, gender, disability, poverty) because those conditions often come with a dose of blame. Living ones life from one or more of those positions means that you come to believe it is your own fault that the mistreatment you experience happens because of something you have done. That’s internalized blame. And in that case, adding blame to myself, only grinds in the internalized blame and is a difficult position to sustain action for the long term.
If I am overweight and I hate myself for being so, and then I attempt to use the self-hatred(blame) as motivation for weight-loss, it doesn’t ever work for the long term because it is only grinding in the blame I receive from society. (If I weren’t starting with a heavy dose of blame from society, that might work differently, but that’s hard for me to speak to because I haven’t experienced it.) Only when I step outside of blame- for myself AND for everyone else- is it possible for me to shift out of the passive (victim) mindset and actually take steps in on my own behalf in the direction of my resilience. As far as I can tell blame is an incomplete attempt to hold power, by saying I am hurt and it is your fault. But my hurt is for me to move, wherever it came from. No one else can move it for me. It certainly helps to have people with me while I move it. But the tendency both to put blame outside myself, as well as, putting blame on myself, both inhibit the movement in the direction I want to go. Only when I set blame down, is it possible for me to pick up authentic responsibility. Blame and responsibility are not the same thing. This may actually be a greater shortcoming of the human race than even understanding the exponential function!
And the concept of generational trauma is only now beginning to be looked at. As I was growing up I heard the expression that the Natives couldn’t hold their liquor. Dr. Gabor Mate talks about trauma that affects multiple generations and it deeply affects their lives. It seems easier to blame them for their shortcomings than look at the whole picture.
Blame and responsibility are not the same thing. This may actually be a greater shortcoming of the human race than even understanding the exponential function!That is prophetic!
Life is sometimes very unfair. And I also agree that just because someone is experiencing adverse life circumstances, it’s not necessarily their fault. The world is filled with these examples. But the political correctness pendulum has swung so far that many are assuming (and reinforced in that belief by others, politically motivated authorities, and the culture at large) that anything that goes wrong in their life is someone else’s fault. As you recognized, that is never a helpful position. And the blanket cry against blaming the victim doesn’t sufficiently discriminate between one time victims and those who repeatedly remain victims through their own actions and even when they are clearly shown a way out. As the saying goes, “Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.”
So I posed this question in the past, and you dodged it, as you often do the hard questions. How are you, you personally, helping others now? I’d really like to hear.Oh, another insult. From past threads my experience in interacting with you has been not one where you were seeking to understand but seeking to judge. Your condescending lectures are examples. So I will not set myself up to be judged by you - it’s none of your business. And I make no apologies for voicing my opinion that there is much more discussion on how to increase ones financial portfolios than there is on the plight of the disenfranchised, oppressed and forgotten. And their lives just got substantially worse.
Also, I don’t agree that skin color and gender come with a dose of blame. How do you figure that? Disadvantage perhaps but not blame. Disability may or may not. If someone has a condition such as cerebral palsy, I don’t know how anyone can blame that person for that condition. But if one smokes, drinks, or eats crap food and experiences the onset of a physical disability as a consequence of those damaging actions, are you saying they bear no blame whatsoever? I can’t agree with that. Poverty depends upon circumstances. Certainly being born into poverty bears no blame. But staying in poverty in a country such as the United States, where resources and opportunities and assistance abound even now, means that person has some culpability. Yet with each of those conditions, individuals have overcome them. I look at someone like Ben Carson overcoming skin color, poverty, a mother with mental illness, and other problems as just one example. Here’s an example of someone overcoming real disability in stellar fashion.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MbK39PfQgaU
But again, shedding the victim identity is a pre-requisite.
With regards to your second paragraph, I can follow you at first but then you lose me in some of the psychobabble. Nevertheless, as I stated, I never said blame and responsibility were the same thing. Also, blame can be either a positive force for change through recognizing responsibility or something that is bad, depending upon whether it is misplaced or not. I also think one can’t dismiss the role of blame, shame, judgement or guilt or sin for that matter without falling into the trap of political correctness, a marxist ideology, the goal of which is not to ensure social justice as purported but to render asunder the very foundations of capitalistic Western civilization, a system which, by the way, has brought the world the greatest prosperity it has ever seen.
So you resort to victim status again? You’re stuck so I’m just going to drop this. It isn’t productive. My apologies.
So you resort to victim status again?You call me a victim because I refuse to give you a detailed list of how I help people. Amazing! For years I had you on block and would today but there is not one on this new system. You are right our interactions are not productive so next time you you want to send me a condescending, judgmental lecture - - just don’t.
[I’ve tried posting FOUR times unsuccessfully to EmJayGee’s question under the forums. If I make it past the Captcha, then my response simply disappears. This is the slightly condensed version.]
Hi EmJayGee, I can appreciate your situation and dilemma.
[Disclosure] I’m not a financial advisor, so please consult with a trained professional appropriate to your circumstance to obtain financial advice. I don’t have any have any personal or business interests in the resource listed below, TheMoneyGPS or David Quintieri. Please don’t run with your eyes closed holding scissors.
- Penalty-free early withdrawal retirement funds: The Covid rescue bill that was signed today by the President included a provision for early withdrawals. The bill seems to be flexible and favorable to owners/beneficiaries of the retirement fund(s). They’re likely to interpret the guidelines liberally to enable spending. Be creative. You can pay the funds back (interest free?) in 3 years or pay the penalty. Use at least a portion of the funds to seed your business venture/investment strategy. Here’s an article that will get you started on your research of this option:
Coronavirus stimulus-package tax relief: Withdraw $100K from your IRA — and repay in 3 years with zero tax liability
https://www.marketwatch.com/story/coronavirus-stimulus-package-tax-relief-withdraw-100k-from-your-ira-and-repay-in-3-years-with-zero-tax-liability-2020-03-27 - Strategies and passive income: I’ve been following David Quintieri of TheMoneyGPS for a few years. He’s reputable, prolific and produces daily 10-minute videos with sound, well-research economic and financial analysis, nice charts and a dry sense of humor. (Signature phrase, “You came here for the truth, so let me unveil that for you!”)
He produced a video series of “How to and Solutions” that are informative:
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLZLer2ZPv6WFvoVWhZPepRalPDnPZOE-N
He also produced a series on e-commerce called “The Amazon GPS”:
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCngq92xrmmsfEgGdfAJ6giQ
I took the course last year and it was very good. It is entirely free, but you may need to sign-up (no spam) to download the pdfs and other attachments. My plans for establishing a passive income e-commerce business were derailed due to a serious illness. I’ve since recuperated so will re-take the course as a refresher.
Please keep us posted to the extent you feel comfortable. I’m sure others here (me included!) could learn from your experiences. Good luck!
capitalistic Western civilization, a system which, by the way, has brought the world the greatest prosperity it has ever seenIt's not so prosperous when you consider that right now, in a crisis which has been foreseen for years, we don't have enough simple, low tech supplies to equip our medical professionals.
”the old paradigm of greed and competition is collapsing and dying” Really? I sincerely suggest you are being naive. It’s the fantasy world of “ought”. Utopianism, which always leads to more bloodshed and misery. You fail to understand human nature I’m afraid. So let’s all trot off to become The New Socialist Man, where everybody is amazingly equal, but especially equal if you’re a Party member. I’m sorry, I’m not venting on you personally. You are probably very nice and well-meaning. But this false idea that we can escape our nature has been taught in our schools for several generations now and so we are poised to step into yet another doomed experiment in “socialism”. Our founding fathers, for all their many faults, did understand human nature and the need for restraining its more base aspects.
This this whole world system is dying. None of us will get out alive but some of us will not be hurt at all by the second death. In Adam’s Fall we Sinned All. Look to your Creator.
Is anyone else tired of this?